I work part-time but that involves a 100-mile round trip, three-hour commute and being away from my children for 48 hours every week because I can’t afford to live close enough to the hospital. Being responsible for multiple people’s lives at a time is stressful. Because I truly, genuinely have no idea how. It is a relief to know I'm not crazy for feeling all of the things described above at one point or another. I've been practicing as a hospitalist for 5 years and feel stagnant. Doing our job effectively means being creative in finding ways around roadblocks of all kinds, even if we lack the godlike authority physicians used to have. 1. I have a history of depression but have never been this anxious before. “I love being a doctor but I hate practicing medicine,” a friend, Saeed Siddiqui, told me recently. I also have anxiety that can flare up pretty severely and tend to get burned out if I have to go through a demanding schedule for too long, as I naturally give a lot to people and have to have time to care for myself. Many of these problems didn’t exist 20 years ago, but then, neither did hospitalists. So far, I don't enjoy being … Those who hate hospitalists believe that students and residents are choosing hospital medicine over primary care so hospitalists are to be blamed for the primary care shortage. In nursing school I would get a little anxious but not like this. I was like, ‘Who’s helping people? Hospitalists do seem to spend most of their work day doing what many of us wanted to do when we decided to become internists and I hate to think the only avenue for the Oslerian type internist to travel is that of the hospitalist but that may be the reality though we have not quite arrived at … Not getting lunch break until two hours after the cafeteria stopped serving it is the pits. I get extreme anxiety the night before I have to go to work and morning of. “Yeah, so what happened was, after 10 years a hospitalist at Stanford, I realized how broken our system was. Even when I learn things in medicine now I feel like - … "Doctor is not talking nicely" - We will pat a young girl's head or what? I have no interest in medicine anymore and really want to consider a fellowship if only to re-ignite my passion for learning. Because the medical machine will take it from you until you have nothing left to give, to the tune of 400 doctors per year on average, for those keeping track. Imagine how I feel. Being stretched so thin physically and frazzled to the point of crying is awful. The first, second and third times I Googled "I hate being a doctor" or similar, this site didn't come up. And so, it became very dispiriting and when my daughter said, ‘Hey, I want to go into medicine so I can help people too!’ I looked at her like she was crazy. 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